Some Nights I am Grateful For Whiskey February 9th, 2016 1:45 AM

A Grief Expressed

Some Nights I am Grateful For Whiskey February 9th, 2016 1:45 AM

Four minutes after updating my Facebook profile photo, I posted a photo of Jim Beam on Facebook and added the words —

“Some nights I am grateful for whiskey #GrievingSucks”

I knew that my next Facebook post was going to be faith centric to care for those who had a faith background and I wanted to balance that post out with this one.

I started a new bottle of Jim Beam about 1:30 AM and by 6:00 AM I had drank the whole bottle. Sleep did not come until about 8 AM…

I am not suggesting that you approve of this choice, I am just telling you what I did.

Steven Shomler

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I Updated My Facebook Profile Photo Feb 9th, 2016 1:41 AM

I Updated My Facebook Cover Photo Feb 9th 1:38 AM

I Updated My Facebook Profile Photo Feb 9th 1:41 AM

First I updated my Facebook cover photo, then I updated my Facebook profile photo to a photo of  Zayne and his older brother Zac. This photo was taken the night they both scored varsity touchdowns for the Skyview Storm.

The joy in their faces is radiant. That is how I wanted to remember Zayne and that is how I wanted others to remember him.

Yes, it is just after 2 AM on  March 8th, 2016 and I am crying as I type this post. 30 days ago I lost my son Zayne and the ache is grueling. Fuck.

Steven Shomler

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I Updated My Facebook Cover Photo Feb 9th, 2016 1:38 AM


I Updated my Facebook Cover Photo Feb 9th, 2016  1:38 AM

My 17 year old son Zayne passed away the evening of Feb 8th, 2016. Later that evening I realized that for me, sharing this tragic news on Facebook would be like pulling a band aid off and it would allow to me to communicate with 100s of people without having to have the 100s of conversations that I was simply not ready to have.

I decided to start by changing my Facebook cover photo to one of my favorite Bible verses Revelation 21:4.

Revelation 21:4 -“He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”

Unless you were in my immediate family, this facebook post was the first indication that something was up….

Steven Shomler

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A Grief Expressed


My name is Steven Shomler and on February 8th ,2016 my 17 year old son Zayne Steven Shomler passed away and I began a brutal grieving journey. This website will chronicle my grieving journey and it will serve as a place where I can post my general thoughts on grieving. I believe that grieving is healthy and I believe that crying is how we heal and I  know that grieving is like going to the bathroom – when you don’t do it bad things happen.


I am a writer and an author and shortly after Zayne’s passing I  found that I had to write about this heart wrenching journey. I had to express this grief. I felt compelled to do so.

I bought the domain on February 14th, six days after Zayne’s passing, and the day after I had officiated his memorial service. It is now March 7th, 2016  and I have began.

Also — In the weeks following Zayne’s passing I shared some of my grieving journey on my personal Facebook profile and I got feedback from people that my doing so blessed them.

The thing is, there was sooo much more that I wanted to post about this awful path I was walking and I knew that posting too much of it on my facebook profile would simply bum people out.

My #GrievingDadHat 

Anyone reading articles on this website, will know that they are about to read about grieving. So reader beware and forewarned. – this website and the accompanying Facebook Page A Grief Expressed and Twitter account Don’t Grieve are about what I call my #GrievingDadHat 

Steven Shomler


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